The new speech of the new man, Colossians 4:2-6

Our speech reveals what we believe. Jesus said in Matt. 15:18 "But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.” Your heart is revealed by your speech.  That’s why Paul said in Romans 10:9 that salvation is through our speech.  He said if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead you shall be saved. 

And what Paul is indicating here in this passage before us is that which is in the heart comes out of the mouth.  And if we have a new heart, since we are a new creation in Christ, we should be characterized by a new type of speech.

James speaking of our speech says in James 3:11 “Can a fountain send out from the same opening [both] fresh and bitter [water?]” Our new lives ought to reflect a new way of speaking, a new pattern of speech.  And so this brief section of scripture here at the end of this little epistle is about this new speech that we should have in this new life we have in Christ.

Now there are four patterns of speech, or four areas of speech that Paul talks about here which should be emblematic of our new life in Christ.  And the first is what we might call the speech of prayer. That’s found in vs 2, “Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving.”  Prayer should be a primary element of our speech as we live out this new life in the Spirit.  Prayer is spiritual communication with God.  And if we are “in Christ” and we are to walk by the Spirit and not by the flesh, then it stands to reason that we are in constant communication with God.  He is the Master and Commander of our lives, and if we are to live as He would have us live, in His power, then we must be in constant communication with Him.  

I cannot imagine deliberately sinning, or preparing to sin, and praying beforehand, can you?  Prayer precludes sin.  If you are tempted to sin, and someone asks you to pray, you would have to be so convicted that it would prevent you from continuing in that sin.  Prayer is a preventive. Jesus said in Matt.26:41  "Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." 

And prayer is a restorative.  When you sin, you have the immediate recourse to prayer and cleansing and restoration.  1John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  And furthermore, you might say that prayer is a preparative. It prepares you to walk by the Spirit, so that you will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. It prepares you to receive the power to do the will of God.

Now Paul speaks here of a devotion to prayer.  Devote can be translated to mean to continue, to persevere, to constantly engage in.  It’s to have a constant attitude of prayer.  1Thess. 5:17 says, “pray without ceasing.”  And Eph 6:18 says, “With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints.” We should constantly be in communication with the Lord who is the source of our life.  It’s the primary speech pattern of the new life. 

I think prayer is the most under appreciated and under utilized aspect of the Christian life. And it’s also probably the most misunderstood. Prayer is speaking directly to the Almighty God.  So prayer should be reverent.  Prayer must be articulate, it must be intelligent. Prayer must be meaningful.  Prayer is not meaningless repetition.  Jesus said in Matt. 6:7  "And when you are praying, do not use meaningless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they suppose that they will be heard for their many words.”  So avoid meaningless repetition that means nothing to you and consequently accomplishes nothing with God.  

Paul says continue or devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it.  In the KJV it says keeping watch in prayer.  Some commentators have said that word “watch” refers to looking for the second advent of the Lord, or the second coming of Christ.  The idea of watching is sometimes associated in scripture with Jesus Christ coming back.  That expectation should certainly color our lives.  It should be something we expect to happen at any time.  We should live in the constant expectancy and hope that today might be the day that the Lord returns.  

But I don’t think that is what Paul means when he says keep alert or keep watch. I think it goes back to what Jesus said which I quoted before from Matthew 26:41  "Keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." I think keep watching in prayer or keep alert in prayer is reminiscent of Peter’s admonition in 1Peter 5:8 “Be of sober [spirit,] be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”  Be on the alert in prayer, because it is the Lord who will deliver you from the jaws of the lion.  We can’t see the devil, but we can be on the alert for his schemes through prayer.

And our prayers to that effect should be coupled with thanksgiving, Paul says.  Now that does not mean that we dutifully check off a list of things we thank God for so we can then move on to our petitions.  But what it does indicate is that real gratitude is a safeguard against envy and dissatisfaction.  If we remind ourselves of what we have to be thankful for, then we are less likely to find ourselves dissatisfied and grumpy about what lot we have been given.  

Even in the midst of troubles and trials and tribulations, Paul found plenty to be thankful for.  Remember he is writing this epistle from prison, while in chains. And yet he starts the epistle in chapter one vs three saying, “We give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you.”  We need to cultivate an attitude of thankfulness, regardless of our immediate circumstances.  So the new life should be characterized by new speech which continues in prayer.

The second attribute of speech in this new life is the speech, not of prayer, but verse 3 and 4, the speech of proclamation.  “praying at the same time for us as well, that God will open up to us a door for the word, so that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ, for which I have also been imprisoned;  that I may make it clear in the way I ought to speak.”   Twice you see the word “speak.”  Once you see the phrase,  “the word.”  Once you see the word “clear.”  And all of those words have to do with of the speech of proclamation.  

Notice that Paul says pray that God will open to us a door for the word, that we may speak forth the mystery of Christ. The mystery of Christ is simply the gospel.  Our new speech in this new life should be that which speaks forth the gospel as revealed by the word.  We are ministers of the word.  You are ministers, not in the sense of a pastor, but in the sense of an official, an ambassador of the kingdom of God.  It’s important that you know the word. It’s important that you are able to proclaim the word.  To share the word.

Paul wrote something very similar in Ephesians 6:19, “Pray for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.”  He says pray for me that I might be bold; pray for me that a door for the Word might be opened up.  This man was aware that he had been given a mission, a ministry.  He didn't ask them to pray for his personal needs.  He didn't say, “Pray for me that I'll hold up under the stress.”  He didn't say, “Pray for me that I get released from prison.”  He just said, “Pray for me, that I'll open my mouth, and find an open door to proclaim the Word.”

The priority of this new speech of the new man is the proclamation of the gospel.  That was Paul’s priority, and it should be our priority. I’m afraid that far too often though its not  something we think too much about.  We’re too concerned about whether or not we might offend someone.  We are too concerned that it might seem awkward to talk about the gospel.  But the gospel really is the most important thing in the world, that people might know how they can be made right with God and receive eternal life.

We need to pray, like Paul, that God would open a door for us to speak to our friends and loved ones concerning the gospel.  To have an open door means to have an opportunity.  You know, when I seek the Lord’s will concerning things I often ask Him to either open or shut the door.  And I can tell you that the majority of the time it seems that God shuts the door.  So the way that I think God leads me is that there is only one door left that seems to be open. But then we have to walk through that door.  God is not going to carry us across the threshold.  But He will open a door for us to proclaim the gospel if we ask Him to.

In Revelation, chapter 3, verse 7, it says this: “To the angel of the church in Philadelphia write: These things says He that is holy, He that is true, He that has the key of David, He that opens and no man shuts; and shuts, and no man opens.”  He says, “I know your works: I have set before you an open door.”  God can and will open a door for us to proclaim His gospel.

Paul goes on to say in vs 4, “that I may make it clear in the way I ought to speak.”  I'm afraid sometimes that a good message proclaimed in a bad way will do just about as much harm as a bad message.  Paul asks for prayer that he would speak the way he should, and that he would speak it correctly, to speak the way God would have him speak about the gospel.

You know, there are a number of ways that you can speak the gospel incorrectly.  I will give you four ways in which it is commonly presented incorrectly.  One, is the crisis experience centered proclamation.  That’s where someone gets up and tells a story of how they went through some terrible ordeal and their life was changed.  They never really present the gospel, or the word of God, just the experience that happened to them, whatever that might be.  And so the hearer may be drawn to have a similar experience, but he doesn’t understand what’s involved in salvation according to the word.

The second way to falsely proclaim, is what might be called an ego-centric proclamation.  You appeal to their ego.  To their desires.  Christ can solve all your problems.  Christ can heal you, restore your marriage, help you financially.  And so the person responds on that basis, expecting God to solve all their problems.  And so often they end up disillusioned and end up falling away because Christ didn’t deliver in the way they thought He should.

The third way can be called expedience proclamation, where all you want is some sort of commitment, regardless of what they know or don’t know.  Those kinds of presentations often rely on another method, which is emotional proclamation, where the emotions are manipulated to get people to respond.  The music is playing softly,  the appeal is couched in some heartbreaking story, and the person starts crying, and they respond with an emotional commitment to something that they think has to do with God, but they don’t really know what happened other than they felt something or had some sort of emotional experience. 

Paul says, let me speak in a way that is clear, that makes clear the truth of the gospel, and let me proclaim it as God would have me to do it.  That should be our goal as well.

The third way our speech is different now that we are Christians is the new man is going to have the speech of what we might call performance. Verse 5: “Walk in wisdom toward them that are outside, redeeming the time.” Here he's talking about the speech of performance, or how you act. 

Have you ever heard the saying, “Your actions speak so loudly I can’t hear what you are saying?”  What Paul is indicating here is a lifestyle that speaks louder than your words.  Walk, he says.  That’s talking about lifestyle.  That’s behavior.  What you do comes before what you say.  People aren’t going to really listen to you prattle on about the Lord if your actions are contrary to His teaching.  

Paul is talking about our testimony before outsiders; meaning those outside the church. These are the unsaved.  He says walk or act with wisdom towards those who are unsaved.  What does he mean by wisdom?  A wisdom of this world?  Are we to make sure we talk in a way that is hip, that is relevant, so that the people of the world think we’re cool and they will listen to us? Are we to model the look and dress and behavior and sounds of the world so that they will accept us and then listen to us? Is that what he is saying?

It certainly seems to be the way a lot of churches today interpret this.  One well known church in Chicago a number of years ago,  which became a model for most of the large modern churches today,  in the beginning of their ministry they sent out a survey to the community, and they asked them what features that turned them off about church, and what kind of things that they would like to see in a church.  And after all the responses were evaluated, they designed their church to be like what the unsaved people in the community wanted to see.  They called it the seeker friendly church.  And they were very popular for a while and built a mega church that became a template for hundreds of other churches across the country to emulate.  But is that walking in wisdom towards outsiders? I don’t think that is what Paul is talking about.

Paul simply means walking in the wisdom of the word.  Colossians 1:9,“For this cause we also, since the day we heard it, do not cease to pray for you, and desire that you might be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; That you might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing.”  You have been saved, you have been given wisdom to understand the mystery of the gospel.  And you need to be filled with the wisdom of godly living that you might walk in it. Wisdom is the application of knowledge.  Especially in our testimony to the unsaved, we need to live lives that are a reflection of Christ. We need to apply the truth of the gospel to our daily lives.  We need to live godly.  We need to avoid the temptations of the world.  We need to put on the behaviors which Paul enumerated in the previous chapter. 

Here’s what he said about walking in wisdom in ch. 3:12-17 “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;  bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.  Beyond all these things [put on] love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.  Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms [and] hymns [and] spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, [do] all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.”  That’s walking in wisdom, and we should make sure that our lives exemplify that lifestyle to the eyes of a watching world.

Then he says, “Redeeming the time,” that’s the literal translation of the end of vs 5.  What does that mean?  Time there is not kronos, from which we get chronology or chronograph, which means time in terms of clock time.  It is kairos, which means time  in terms of  opportunity.  A better translation might be “making the most of every opportunity.”  Psalm 90 says “So teach us to number our days that we may apply our hearts to wisdom.”  It's a matter of making the most of  opportunity.  You know, opportunity is momentary.  Life is short.  People are dying.  You don’t know how much time you have.  Jesus is coming soon. So make the most of the opportunity that you have to speak the truth to someone. 

The Bible talks about the door being shut.  The Bible talks about the night that’s coming, when no man can work.  The Bible talks about Jesus removing the candlestick which is the light of the church.  It’s important that we recognize that time is fleeting, and opportunity doesn’t always give us a second chance. You have today.  You have the opportunity today to make sure you have said everything that can be said to your loved one or to your friend or co worker. The night is coming when no man can work. 

That leads us to the fourth type of speech characteristic of the new life - the speech of perfection. Vs 6 “Let your speech always be with grace, [as though] seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.”  Now this phrase,  “Let your speech be always with grace.”  He's talking about our general conversation.  The mouth of a Christian should utter the speech of perfection.  Never out of the mouth of a Christian should come that stuff that Paul listed in chapter 3: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech and lying. 

But rather Paul says let your mouth speak graciousness.  What is courteous, what is kind, what is tasteful.  What is purposeful, what is complimenting, what is gentle, what is truthful, what is loving, what is thoughtful.  Not bitter, abrasive, vindictive, sarcastic, angry, cutting, boastful, none of those things should characterize your speech.  Your speech should be gracious.  

Then Paul adds, “Seasoned with salt.” My doctor has told me that I should avoid a lot of salt.  But salt makes food taste good. So I can’t see how it can be that bad for you. Maybe Paul is saying that our speech should be tasteful.  And not just gracious, but your speech ought to be worth something. Salt was used for money in those days. Salt was also used as a preservative to stop corruption. Salt was used to cleanse as well. So your speech should be a purifier that prevents corruption.  Your speech should act as a purifying, wholesome, cleansing influence, rescuing the sinner from the corruption that is in the world.

The Greeks had another thought here.  They said the idea of salt was the idea of wit.  And wit is the ability to say just the right thing at just the right time.  There is a saying which was penned by Shakespeare which is; “brevity is the soul of wit.”  It means the essence of an effective statement lies in its concise wording and delivery.

And isn't that what Paul is saying?  “That you may know how you ought to answer every man.”  You've got the appropriate answer for just the right time, and just the right person.   The right word at the right time to the right person, the speech of perfection. And that perfect speech is gained through prayer, through the study of God’s word, and through practice in proclamation.  

I can tell you from experience that you get better at articulating the gospel the more that you do it.  The more you practice it the more comfortable you become, and the better you become at finding the right words.  A lot of people are afraid of speaking to someone about the gospel because they have never done it.  They’re afraid that they won’t know what to say.  But the fact is that God will help you know what to say.  And as you step out in faith, and are obedient to His command to be a witness, He not only will provide the help you need, but you will develop more confidence and competence as you commit yourself to doing it.

Well, thank God we have a new life in Christ.  An as a result we are to have a new type of speech. Devote yourselves to prayer. Pray that a door would be opened for proclamation of the gospel. Then act in wisdom towards those who are outsiders, making the most of every opportunity. And finally, practice the speech of perfection; Let your speech always be gracious,  seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person.” 
May God grant us the desire to obey His will in our speech.  

  

 

New life, new resolutions, Colossians 3:18-4:1

In his letter to the Colossians, Paul has said that now that we are made new, since we have new birth, since we have new spiritual life, we need to put away the old and put on the new.   There should be a new resolve to live differently now that we are Christians.  Our life is not the same and so our behavior should not be the same.  Furthermore, Paul says that in this new life we should emulate Christ in our attitudes, in our actions, and our behavior.

So as Christians who have a new life in Christ,  so we must also have a new way of living.  Our relationships with others is going to be changed.  Our behavior towards others will be different.  And in that context, Paul through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit lays out our duty as Christians in our relationship to our spouse, to our family, and in our work environment. These areas of our lives are ones which should be most impactful as Christians. I believe that the foundations of society are the church, the home and the workplace.  And so as Christians if we want to change society, if we want to impact the world for Christ, we start in these areas first.

So when there has been a change spiritually, then there will be a change in behavior, and especially that will be evident in the nature of relationships.  In this passage of scripture, Paul talks about a new kind of wife in vs 18, a new kind of husband in vs 19, a new kind of child in verse 20, a new kind of father in verse 21, a new kind of servant in verse 22, and a new kind of master in chapter 4, verse 1. After conversion, a Christian’s whole orientation to society is dramatically changed, because Jesus Christ has entered their life.  There is a new, controlling authority in their lives which dramatically affects the way that they live.

Now today there is a lot of pushback on some of these principles because society believes that there is no place for submission to authority anymore.  There is a modern emphasis on the individuals rights and freedoms that is at odds with what the scriptures tell us. Our culture especially doesn’t like to hear that wives are to be in subjection to their husbands.  And some young people don’t like to submit to the authority of their parents, or to the government, or even to the law. 

But there are many institutions of authority which God has established in the world.  Whether you like it or not, there are certain authorities and they are established by God. And make no mistake, this is not my idea of how life should be ordered. It’s the wisdom and design of our Creator for mankind. If you have a problem with any of it, then take it up with God. I’m just the messenger.  God has set forth certain  authorities and responsibilities for society.  There is the authority of government which is spelled out in detail in Romans 13.  There is the authority of the church and it’s leaders as indicated in 1 Peter. And in this passage and elsewhere we see that God has established authority in the home, in marriage, and in the workplace.

Now our scripture passage starts with a word a word to wives concerning submitting to authority in verse 18. “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Notice, it does not say “women.” Of course, to be a wife you must be a woman.  That should be understood.  But the admonition is not to women in general to submit to men in general.  That is not what this scripture is teaching.  It is an admonition to wives.  So it is an admonition to women in a marriage relationship with their husband.

The KJV says to your own husbands.  So my wife is not being told to submit to another man who also happens to be a husband.  It’s not a general admonition for women to submit to men, but in the marriage relationship, the woman is to take the role of submission to the husband’s role of authority.  

The word “hypotassō” was a Greek military term meaning "to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader".  Everyone recognizes that there is rank in the military, and a soldier is to obey someone who has a higher rank. So the implication here is that the wife is subject to her husband who has a higher authority than her.

But let’s be clear; submission doesn’t mean inferiority. It doesn’t mean the wife is inferior to her husband, not at all. Jesus wasn’t inferior to God the Father; but He submitted to the authority of the Father. Christ is equal to the Father, yet He submitted to Him.  In Phil. 2:5-8 it says, “Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,  who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped (held onto),  but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, [and] being made in the likeness of men.  Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”  So Jesus, though equal with God in divinity, submitted Himself to the Father by becoming obedient even to the point of death.  So equality does not negate the imperative to submission.  God has given the responsibility to the husband to be the leader in the marriage and in the home.  

Notice what be says at the end of verse 18, “as is fitting in the Lord.” The only justification for submission is because this is the way God designed marriage. I think it might be helpful to remind ourselves of how God designed marriage in creation.  Starting in Genesis 2 vs18 Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him."  So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.  The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.  The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man."  For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”

So the order of creation should teach us the nature of marriage, and the nature of the relationship between husband and wife.  The woman was made for man, and made from man. She was made to be a helper to him. And in creation, God established that authority of the husband and the submission of the wife.  They have different roles in marriage. Even as Christ was submissive to the Father, yet equal in divinity. Creation teaches us the principle of Complementarianism.  Men and women weren’t created to be exactly equal in all aspects, but that each possessed qualities and characteristics that completed what was lacking in the other.  So that they are better together as one flesh. 

It’s also helpful to consider what it says in Eph 5:22-24 “Wives, [be subject] to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself [being] the Savior of the body.  But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives [ought to be] to their husbands in everything.”  So the wife is to have the same relationship to the husband as the church has to Christ. That’s an astonishing principle and one which deserves to have a sermon just on that principle alone.  But we haven’t got time today.

But it also puts a tremendous responsibility on the husband to be like Christ. Eph.5:25 says,  “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” And that brings us back to our text to the admonition to husbands in vs 19, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.” Now these commands to the husband and the wife are not contingent upon the other party keeping their end of the deal.  Love is not contingent upon the other party responding a certain way.  Agape love is not necessarily reciprocal.  But the command is for the wife to be subject to her husband’s authority, and for the husband to love his wife. The command is to continue acting in love.  I would say that the command is for the husband to serve his wife, and not necessarily for the wife to serve her husband.  And that’s where a lot of men get it backwards.

A lot of men are all lovey dovey until they get what they want.  And then they become self serving.  But agape love is focused on serving the other to the point of self sacrifice.  Love is not simply a feeling. Love is commitment. Love is the act of putting aside your prerogatives for the sake of another, to see them built up and edified.  To see them benefitted. 

If husbands truly loved their wives with a self sacrificing love, seeking her benefit and not his own, then I don’t think there would be a lot of wives having problems with being subject to him.  The problem is that too often men seek their own benefit, and demand the wife submit to that. But as each serves the other then both are benefitted.

The second part of this admonition is “do not be embittered against them.”  Some have suggested that this word “embitter” should be translated “harsh.” “Don’t be harsh toward them.” Well, both interpretations emphasizes a harshness of temper. Harshness produces resentment that leads to misery, and often leads to divorce. In the Greek it’s pikrainō that is the verb here, it could be translated as “exasperate” or “irritate.” “Don’t irritate your wife. Don’t exasperate your wife. Don’t be harsh towards your wife.”  I would suggest that the way to not exasperate your wife is you don’t lord your authority over her.  You don’t treat her as less than an equal.  You may not be equal in size or strength or in some physical characteristic, but you treat her as an equal in consideration of her dignity as a person, in her intelligence, in regards to her opinion and intuition.

You know, with authority comes responsibility.  And in marriage the man is given a serious responsibility. Your family is going to follow your lead.  They are going to follow your wisdom or your ignorance.  If you make a mistake, they are going to suffer with you. It’s a great responsibility to have authority in the family.  You better lean on God’s word for wisdom.  And if you’re smart, you better lean on your wife’s intuition.

But I will also say this.  I think a lot of men duck their responsibility to lead their family, especially in the realm of spiritual things.  And so the wife dutifully picks up the slack, and the man is actually relieved that he doesn’t have to make those decisions.  But there are consequences to that dereliction of duty that may take years to come out, but they will eventually hurt the relationship.  One thing for sure, is it will hurt the man’s relationship with the Lord.  

Wives, you need to support your husband in becoming the spiritual leader in your house.  He may not be as smart as you in things of the Lord.  He may not be as spiritually mature as you.  But if you don’t encourage him to accept that responsibility then you damn him to be forever immature and unspiritual.  And that’s going to work against your home and your marriage more than you can possibly realize at this point.  Don’t fall for the temptation of the devil to overstep your husband’s authority and take the lead.  Eve took the lead, and Adam was willing to submit to her.  And look what happened as a result to the human family.

As archaic as this may sound today, I would suggest that the Christian husband should be chivalrous towards his wife.  He should protect her, cherish her, honor her, give preference to her, serve her, even as Christ served the church.  If we loved our wives that way, I don’t think there would be too much problem with the wife not being submissive to the husband.  I think that part would come naturally.

The next admonition is directed to children. Vs 20 says,  “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.” Now one question that immediately comes to mind is who qualifies as children here in this verse?  “Children,” ta tekna, is a very general word for a child, an offspring. It could be any age. What it basically means is,  anybody who is still under parental guidance. You stop being a child biblically in terms of this word when you go out to establish your own independence and your own life. As long as you’re in the home, as long as your parents are responsible for you, as long as you’re under their leadership and authority, you have one command.

You know there’s only one command in the entire Bible given to children or young people living in their home with their parents. That one command and the only command is to obey your parents in everything; that’s it. Ephesians 6: 1 states it even more clearly, basically restating the Old Testament commandment.  Eph 6:1-3 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER (which is the first commandment with a promise),  SO THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU, AND THAT YOU MAY LIVE LONG ON THE EARTH.”

One of the hallmarks of the last days, according to 2 Timothy 3:2, is that children will be disobedient to parents.  Children today are taught to think that authority is something terrible, as unnecessarily restrictive.  And parents contribute to this by trying to be their child’s friend, rather than being their parent. I think a lot of parents fail to properly exercise their authority, to properly maintain any discipline or control over their kids, and then because they are such poor parents, they then try to mollify the situation by overcompensating in terms of permissiveness and buying them things.  They excuse their own lack of discipline as a parent by saying “Well, I just want them to be happy.”  But when there is no discipline, no boundaries, no guiding influence, then the child just ends up miserable and feeling like the parent doesn’t love them.

The unspoken command in this verse is actually directed to the parents.  To exercise their authority and their responsibility to raise their children in the admonition of the Lord. So that the child will live in such as way to be well pleasing to the Lord, according to vs 20.  In Ephesians 6:1 notice that it says obey your parents in the Lord. That’s the same idea.  According to the desire of the Lord, to be pleasing to the Lord. 

And I would remind you that Jesus when He was a child was under the authority of His parents, and He was obedient and submissive to them.  The Holy Son of God, God Incarnate, yet subject to Mary and Joseph. And yet it was God’s will.  It was pleasing to God.  In Luke 2:51 it says,  “And [Jesus] went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart. And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”  So no matter how smart little Johnny may be, if Jesus could be subject to the authority of his parents then so can he.

Then Paul addresses the other side of the coin in child rearing in vs 21,  “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.”  There are some commentators who say this word translated “fathers” is broad enough to cover both parents.  That may be so. I think though it is given to remind fathers that it’s their responsibility to raise the children. It’s not something that should be just left to the mother.  The fathers are the governing authority so to speak.  I remember well my mother saying, “Just wait till your Dad gets home.”  And I remember thinking, “I am happy to wait.”  I knew that when he got home there would be a reckoning, and I didn’t look forward to it one bit.

But this admonition to fathers not to exasperate, or irritate some versions translate it, is a pretty broad statement.  It doesn’t mean that we don’t exercise authority, or not administer discipline.  But perhaps it means that we do not use a heavy hand in doing so. It’s not always conducive to have the attitude that it’s my way or the highway.  I have talked to a number of fathers that thought that they had to lay down the law and then issue an ultimatum, either do what I say or hit the road.  And sometimes the child hit the road and was never heard from again.  You can’t raise a child you don’t have.  

I remember the worse whipping I ever got when I was a boy. And let me tell you, it was a whipping and not a spanking. My father thought I had tried to run away from home. And he never gave me a chance to explain. I’ll never forget that.  Parents, fathers especially, talk to your children.  Listen to them.  Don’t just exercise your authority without considering their feelings and what they might be going through. You know the Lord is our heavenly Father.  And if He always gave us what we deserved when we broke HIs law then who could possibly stand?  But He forgives.  He is gracious.  He loves us and administers discipline for our good, not just for punishment’s sake.

The last category Paul addresses is employee, employer relations.  Let’s read the part applicable to employees first starting in  vs22 , “Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who [merely] please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.  Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men,  knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.  For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality.”

Now Paul addresses this section specifically to slaves or servants.  But I think the admonition is applicable to employees.  In ancient Rome it is estimated that there were 60 million slaves in that society.  It was a vital part of the economy, it was a vital part of society.  60 million slaves would have been a very large segment of the population.  And it is a fact that a large percentage of the church were slaves. And by the way, slavery wasn’t restricted to only certain races.  In fact, the Jews as a nation were enslaved in Egypt for 400 years.  That’s longer than slavery was practiced in this country.  In the Roman Empire, practically all nationalities of people could be slaves except Roman citizens. Even doctors and teachers were commonly slaves.  It has been said that the early Christian church was one of the only places in the known world in which slaves were considered to be on equal footing with slave owners.  In the church, in Christ, there was neither slave nor free.  But in society, it was a part of life which was not able to be easily done away with.

It’s also been suggested that the spread of Christianity was the primary means by which slavery was eventually eliminated throughout the world.  The Great Awakening spawned a spiritual realization that slavery was something that needed to be abolished, and within less than a century it had been outlawed in both America and England and soon throughout the civilized world.

But I really do not want to make this about the evils of slavery today, and what the Bible says and doesn’t say about it.  I think the primary point Paul is making here is in regards to employee relations.  When you agree to work for someone for a wage, you in effect are serving that person or that business for the hours that you have committed to. Some employers demand more than others.  But for the most part, it’s safe to say that you abrogate a lot of your freedom and your rights when you go to work.  The business, or the boss, is now the governing authority over that part of your life.  In the manner of Paul’s speech, to some extent you are a servant and they are your master on earth.

So what does it say regarding employees then? To obey those who are your master, or your boss, or your employer.  And not with just external service as those who merely work to please men.  In other words, don’t just work when our supervisor may be watching, and when they are not watching then you have a different work ethic.  But work as unto the Lord who is always watching.  Do your work as unto the Lord.  It goes back to vs 17, “Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.”

I told the story of the cobbler last week. I won’t retell it.  If you missed it, you missed one of my very few illustrations that aren’t found in the Bible.  But the cobbler wouldn’t cut corners, even though the customer would never know the difference.  And the reason he didn’t do that was because he did it as unto the Lord. You know, the Christian employee should be the best employee on the job site. That’s basically what Paul is saying. Your attitude, your work ethic, is your testimony to a watching world.  And to do it as unto the Lord means that you will find favor with God and man.

And Paul includes in that admonition a warning that if you do what is wrong you will receive the consequences of that wrong, and that without partiality. The Bible teaches that there are inherent consequences to sin.  And when you sin, those inherent consequences take effect.  God will not always deliver you from the consequences of your sin.  He will forgive you if you repent, but he may still allow the consequences of sin to take effect.  I know a few guys in prison who are living testimonies to the inherent consequences of doing wrong.  

And what else Paul seems to indicate is that the employer has a responsibly to administer justice to those who do wrong.  And if he doesn’t, then it’s possible that God will. Because God is a God of justice.   God will reward you for how you worked here on earth, and He will punish you for how you worked here on earth.  If we are Christians, we have a higher authority than our boss who is watching us.  Let us work for our heavenly reward.  Even if you are slighted here on earth and don’t get that raise, or promotion that you think you deserve, God says He will reward us for our work.  Vs 24, “knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.”  Do your work as unto the Lord.

The last admonition then is to employers.  And for that we look at chapter 4 vs 1, “Masters, grant to your slaves justice and fairness, knowing that you too have a Master in heaven.” If you are an employer, then God says you have the responsibility to be just and fair.  At the end of chapter 3 we saw that God is concerned about justice in the workplace and also fairness.  And so as the governing authority in the workplace which is established by God, masters or managers or CEO’s are to administer justice and fairness, because they will be judged by the same standard with which they judged.  Jesus said in Matt. 7:2  "For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.” God is going to judge managers, and bosses and CEO’s according to His justice and fairness.

So in conclusion, I want you to notice that in all of these admonitions, to each of the parties involved, whether it be wives, or husbands, or children, or parents, or employees or employers, all of them as Christians should live a life that is lived as unto the Lord.  In vs 18 it says, “as is fitting in the Lord.”  In vs 20 it is “well pleasing to the Lord”. In vs 22 it is “fearing the Lord.” In vs 23 it is “as for the Lord.” In vs 24 “It is the Lord Christ whom you serve.” And in ch4 vs 1 it is “you too have a Master in heaven.”  The over arching theme is found in vs 23, “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.”  

And in so doing, we will be found to be pleasing to the Lord, and gain favor with God and men. Let us resolve in this new life in Christ, to live in a way that is pleasing to Him and is a reflection of Him to the world. Our greatest testimony of the power of salvation to a watching world is not a gospel tract, but a changed life.